Empathy Starts with You: A Personal Story on Self-Care During Crisis

Yuval Gonen
Feb 9
2 min read

Sunday night, my manager called. His voice was calm, but the message wasn't:

"Our product is now part of a corporate-level customer escalation. I need you to cover the first meeting tomorrow."

I didn't have much information, but I agreed. Living on the East Coast meant I could attend before my West Coast manager was online.

The Morning After

At 8 a.m., I joined a virtual room of 40 people. It was chaotic—updates were flying, the customer's frustration was mounting, and the account team looked overwhelmed. I quietly contacted the corporate escalation lead, saying, "I'm here and ready to contribute, but let's connect before I give any updates."

From that first meeting, I learned two things:

The customer was in crisis and felt abandoned.
This crisis engagement wasn't going to be a short-term situation.

What followed was six months of relentless escalations. The customer needed constant guidance, and we faced recurring outages due to a mix of software defects and their gap in system knowledge. They needed training.

The Personal Toll

I worked around the clock for six months, updating leadership, corporate teams, and the customer. I felt the weight of the situation on my shoulders. There was no backup escalation lead, and the pressure to deliver results never let up.

There were days when I felt like quitting. But I realized something profound in those moments: I couldn't lead effectively without caring for myself. This was a turning point in my leadership journey, a moment of personal growth that I carry with me to this day.

Finding Empathy for Myself

Thankfully, I was pursuing a yoga teaching certification, which introduced me to meditation and mindfulness. It taught me the value of self-care, not just as a luxury but as a necessity for resilience.

I also stumbled upon Kamal Ravikant's book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It. Its exercises helped me reframe how I treated myself. I started recognizing that while I showed empathy toward my team and the customer, I held myself to an impossible standard of perfection.

My wife became my strongest advocate. She knew I needed moments of pause to think creatively and recharge, so she ensured I stepped away from my laptop to reset when needed.

Building My Support Kit

This experience became a turning point. I realized I needed a sustainable way to handle high-stakes situations. I created a personal support kit, which included:

🌿 Mini-vacations (spiritual retreats to recharge).
🧘 Yoga and exercise for physical and mental balance.
🕯️ Meditation to center me during the chaos.
📝 Journaling to process emotions and reflect.
⏸️ Dedicated "do nothing" time—no work, no Netflix, just space to breathe.

The Lesson: Empathy Is a Two-Way Street

In crisis leadership, it's easy to focus on everyone else—the customer, the team, and the leadership. But remember, empathy starts with you. You build the emotional and physical resilience needed to navigate even the most challenging situations by taking care of yourself. This is not a luxury but a necessity for effective leadership.